I was going to begin this blog with a series of questions that would allow you, the reader, to slowly unmask the identity of 'the man for every occasion.'
Instead of beating round the bush, though, and because it's late, I'm just going to come right out and say it.
Is there another more versatile player in The Premier League than Michael Essien? I found myself asking that and other questions after Chelsea’s bludgeoning of Liverpool at Anfield on Wednesday.
Now, those of a Blackburn Rovers persuasion might suggest Christopher Samba and, in their defence, Essien has never appeared in two positions in the same setanta.com team of the week, but neither has Samba, to the best of my knowledge, ‘done a job’ on Steven Gerrard.
Essien was deployed as Gerrard’s man marker at Anfield and have you ever seen Liverpool’s talisman less influential? It’s one thing saying you’re going to mark a player of Gerrard’s calibre, it’s quite another taking him out of the game entirely.
Chelsea’s win will be remembered first for Branislav Ivanovic having the temerity to score not once, but twice in a Champions League quarter final and second for the midfield interplay that earned tangible reward with the team’s third goal at Anfield.
But while Lampard, Ballack, Malouda et al were supplying the ammunition, the stand-out performer was less conspicuous.
On this occasion, at the behest of Guus Hiddink, Essien had switched his dial to defence rather than attack. His role, clearly defined, was to stop Gerrard playing. His worth to his team’s victory was immeasurable.
Essien's the imposing embodiment of a team player, but imagine now a moment of indulgence for the selfless star. Suppose Michael Aspel were to sneak up unawares and say 'Michael Essien: This is your Life' and to then proceed, with due taste and tact, to tease from the all-rounder which position he most prefers. What would he say?
In the absence of a definitive answer to that most hypothetical of questions, we must propose our own.
I say Essien's engine makes him one of the best right backs I’ve ever seen. Witnessing his matchwinning performance at Valencia a couple of seasons ago, you could have forgiven Dani Alves having an epiphany and Cafu thinking wistfully of what might have been.
Ask Steven Gerrard and he will just hope that Essien is as far away from him as possible in six days' time at Stamford Bridge.